It has been quite a while since I first wrote a letter to you, a letter that you and I know, that most people will say can’t be delivered. But I know differently. You will come to read it after I finish.
Each time I visit you at the cemetary I feel the visit isn’t long enough, but I watch Sis, looking usually tired and wishing we would leave. So much my opposite isn’t she Momma. Well at least I had time to speak with you alone while I was there. And as the time before, as I felt you just below the surface of the grass, I knew you were looking down from heaven above. Maybe Momma you were looking from your own Al Di La and that is why I always know you are close to me.
Martin thinks I am over your leaving, but I still miss you desparately and if you listen real close on days I am working outside you will hear quick bits of conversation from me. Usually what I feel just then is that I am actually talking to you or going to the phone to call you, or asking you a question and all I have to do is look up and you are there. It is strange, but I do this so naturally and I suppose it is because I believe you a really there.
I know Sis still misses you. She has what she calls her "Momma days" where she is close to tears and can’t get you off of her mind.
Momma, I suppose you also hear how often I ask you to come back or in the car how I suddenly tell you everything and hold your hand tightly. I don’t think I will ever go to Meijers, Walmart or Walgreens without remembering how much we enjoyed shopping and looking. You always had a great time and loved whatever you saw and bought.
I wish you were here Momma to see your garden. I know you have seen it, but I mean to really be here for bouquets like I always made you. This year it is all mature the flowers are huge and extraordinary, not only in size but in color. You would be so happy with them and the colors Momma go so well together. And yes, the wonderful Marigolds are still planted where you taught me to put them for the most impact when you look at the house. I think the Marigold will always be used until I know longer can plant. The tomatoes are just starting to make tomatoes so I guess they will start off in order for next month. I have your recipes and jars all ready for us to begin making catsup, kettle tomatoes, juice, puree of tomato, and all the other things you showed me how to make and can.
Oh, Momma, you are always missed and I never will stop loving you. You are still my Sunshine and will always be that to me. You brought light to me when only the grayest of day filled my heart and now you provide the support I need when I feel so alone. No one else Momma has ever taken me for what I am and didn’t try to change me. You were and are my anchor. Without you I will be much sadder than I am each day.
Take care my sweet Momma, I shall return another day to write you again.
With all the love in my heart and carrying each and every memory of you each day and are cherished and locked within the my heart’s mind.
To you :Momma, my love,