Crossing My Rubicon

On June 15th at 8:00 p.m. I “crossed my rubicon”, my sixty-fifth year.  I am now at a point in my life that I am beyond youth and one must continue on the current course because turning back is physically impossible.  It is the mark in time before the next major, crepuscular  life cycle  begins.

The day was uneventful, nothing like I envisioned when I was much younger.  Youth has a way of not understanding what the future holds when it directly relates to your age, physical condition and mental abilities.  I saw sixty-five or any over fifty year as being a decrepit old man.  There was no perception that a person at one of these ages could experience and enjoy life as much as I did then.

Unfortunately, time’s passing brings many changes to you, some good and others not so good.  I have aged when I look in the mirror, although, I am happy I don’t see wrinkles and tired looking skin.   My  genes allow me to not have greying hair.  When I am heavy I cut my hair to a short burr cut.  I tell myself it is because there isn’t much hair left, but I know it is an act of punishment because I gained weight!

The face in the mirror looks back at me and reminds me I have a good life and  have few health issues at this age.  The face also tells me that my internal disquietude is often magnified and reminds me that even though I may not always be happy my experiences have been a basis for  wisdom.

As I stand at the bank of my rubicon, slightly perturbed that I must remember to carry a social security and medicare card, I think of my Mother and her love of tomorrow.  During future years  I will focus on the next day and imagine what tomorrow will bring.

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