To Be With Hy


Hy is my brother-in-law.  I have known him for years.  Now I know him much more.

Hy has Alzheimer’s and still functions pretty well.  He has stayed with us while he waits for a new place he will call home.  Monday, I will go with him to this new place and if all goes well  in an interview, he will be able to move in on Wednesday.  Packing and unpacking his possessions and arranging the look of his apartment has become something I enjoy doing.  Wednesday is the only day  I have free.  It will bother me if my own problems interfere so that I cannot do this for him.

While he has been staying with us, we enjoy early morning coffee, chats and little forays into impromptu singing.  He has always been social and able to chat with everyone, yet our chats have built trust and affection between us.  He knows if he wants to speak with me I will give him all my attention.   He knows I will only tell him truths and will not tell him anything that is questionable.

Since my surgery I have gained even more weight.  We talk about it and he  cares that I am too  heavy. As our chats about my weight evolved Hy began calling me “The Big Guy”.    It became our special name for me and now I often say to him that the big guy will take care of something for him, rather than simply saying I will do it!!  He always needs to know how my cancer treatment is doing and tries to support me in my journey!

If this all works out and we are  able to move and set up his new apartment on Wednesday he will begin living there on Thursday.   I am sure that when he leaves my house I will miss his humor, our chats, the all day smile,  his ability to  care about people and particularly in his ability  to accept his illness and still be able to enjoy living life to the hilt.  Yep, he is one of those who has a special inner strength that provides a determination to keep going and develop  a willingness to trust that his family will always try to do the best for him and allow him to continue his life comfortably.

During the time that Hy has been here, I have understood:

To Be With Hy is to be with Life!!  



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