Each morning after I awaken and stretch once or twice, I am ready to touch my feet to the floor and see what the first moment of the new day brings me. Lately, I hobble to the bathroom, then return to the bed and get back in, or being stupid, I pack up my computer and decide to go downstairs. The stairwell is always dark and I need to make sure I feel for the edge of the first step and the handrail. Once downstairs, I think I should not have come down so I head to my office to take a rest, usually I sit on the sofa and fall asleep.
When I wake this second time, the ability to feel better should available. Not always is the case and when it is a sluggish day it will stay that way all day.
Not long ago, I arose early and while having coffee planned my day. Most days I chose to work in my garden and I started around 6:00 a.m. It’s a great time to do what you like to do, pulling the weeds, raking and trimming and bring a particular part back into its original beauty. While I worked I talked to the plants making sure they were happy or telling them that they had a choice to survive or go!
Now those times are a thing of the past, hopefully, one day they will return. The loss of doing as I wish isn’t pleasant. For now I am subject to how I respond to Chemo and after having my second round of treatment yesterday I wonder how I will react this time or will it be an easier time than the first round of Chemo. Today, I trudged downstairs to get a few things done that were not difficult to do, yet by the time I finished I wanted to return upstairs. I was daunted by the stairway as I stood at the bottom looking up. Suddenly the top was farther away than it is. I took a deep breath, grabbed the railing and headed up the great expanse of steps!
Well, I am the one that caused my plight and I should not complain, but this state of life is one that I do not care for, so I must wait and see what happens. TIS not the best quality of life. I wonder, will that all change one day in one tomorrow?