Yep, this chemo/cancer journey is not one that I classify as enjoyable. I didn’t realize when I started that so many potholes occur that can change the original person into one that is less able and threatens me that I may always be this way. My support group calls it “the new normal” for person.
I don’t mind having to adapt to the idea that I can’t do as much as I used to, but I do mind having so many days where dizziness and shaking are paramount and recently go hand in hand with on again off again fevers. When the three conditions combine I go right down the drain and until they leave I get very little done.
Often I say I wish I had the strength my Mother had as she faced each new medical adversity without comment. As a new health problem occurred, she never questioned why. She took each problem in stride and never stopped looking forward to tomorrow.
Well, I never give up, even though some days are like riding a roller coaster with me as I go from ok to not good at all. On good days I still have a determination to do what I need to do and do it as long as I can. My rake and shovel can tell you of many days they hoped my decision to stop would come soon.
Those potholes in this journey through chemo/cancer will not get the best of me. I will go down fighting as I pull every weed, sew every project I want, or paint as I wish. And then I stop to hope tomorrow will be better without these ongoing conditions!