A Question of Tomorrow or Yesterday!!

During the time I took care of my Mother,  after her stroke, she often spoke to me how it is best to look to tomorrow by welcoming its arrival by rejoicing in the possibilities it has.  Regardless of how hard I try I  miss the time of my life when there was never a thought that triggered a worry or no task that was too much to do; where energy was ample  and strength need not be questioned.

I know that my Mother was right.  Thinking thoughts of the past or even the day before and remembering the good or the bad in those times must remain as they are, nor can they be brought forward to live again.  The only living that you can do is in the current day, or possibly begin to plan what you would like to do in the new day.   I  realize the day I am in is important to live the best that I can, but the old mind pushes me to remember and compare what I was like  or could do not long ago and compare it to what I am doing now.

The remembrance of yesterday’s abilities keep me going, because if I didn’t compare today with yesterday’s abilities I am not sure if my internal work ethic would be strong enough to keep me going.   The comparison triggers my will  and makes me go forward even if I am less able as I was before.  The ability to keep on going, after something is a trait I have from my Mother, although I wonder if I am as strong as she was; encountering difficulties, sickness, etc. and have the ability to greet them with a positive attitude she always had.

Internally, I wonder how she handled everything.  I can’t imagine that she had the same little discourse, not always sweet, that I have when it is one of those days.   Now I am about equal in being able to look ahead and unfortunately still able to look back and reminence.   It doesn’t make much difference since I will continue to plug along.



3 thoughts on “A Question of Tomorrow or Yesterday!!

  1. As is so often my penchant, on this subject, I find myself once again somewhere in between. I like to occasionally reminisce on yesteryear but am fundamentally rooted in today. By that I do not mean that I always joyfully embrace “carpe diem”. My inheritance is more one of Teutonic endurance, plodding one foot forward at a time until I find myself at end of day. I do not worry about what was or was not done. I lean toward the belief that tomorrows are fully able to take care of themselves. Having said that, I also find that age is a great teacher. More and more I find myself able to just enjoy the day and what it brings. I think the trick, if there is one, is to simplify your life. I don’t make a lot of commitments that I know will be difficult to keep. I have become much more spontaneous. A simple phone invitation to go have coffee out will find me purse in hand waiting at the driveway for a ride. Friends over for dinner will work as well with take out as a dinner prepared by you that took hours and energy you do not have. After all, what is the point, culinary skills or just enjoying each other? I have taken action to eliminate stress from my life in ways that I can and then fall back on that Teuton to endure what must be gotten through. As with all in life, strive to enjoy what is good that comes our way and do what you must to survive the worse. Worrying or brooding on what was not done or cannot be done will not change anything and so is non productive as well as destructive. So at the end of the day, be content that you have done what you can and leave the rest, in the words of our mother, “Until tomorrow”. I will offer one more quote from Teddy Roosevelt: “Do what you can with what you have, where you are at.” This quote has been on my desk for many years and has become my battle cry.


    1. How eloquently said. I can tell that you have a writing skill, as does your brother. I talked with him when he took care of your Mother. We often had late night talks as he was concerned with taking care of her and making her last days as comfortable as he could. I had recently lost a loved one, so we had much to talk about and feelings to share. Through Frank, I learned of her and hear the things she shared with him. She must have been a dynamic person as well as well as a example of love to her children. Seldom do I hear that love put into words, but I listened and heard with my heart. She taught you well and I appreciate hearing some of her wisdom through Frank, and now through you. I simply say thank you.


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