Darkness in the Gray of a White Cloud

I am gray,
I am the darkness in the gray of a white cloud,
one without a spark of color to  lighten a day’s gloomy mist;
where the spring of hope no longer beats within the cloud.

I am gray,
I am in the twilight of life and question a new day’s dawn.
Will rays at horizon’s edge salve the discontent of disquieting thoughts
or will the kindness and love of others assuage my unrest?

I am gray,
Within my mind’s gloaming, I conjure up a hand reaching out that beckons
me further into a blackness, a quagmire of thought and questions that surely
will absorb me, as well as, place stones before me so I trip along the way.

I am gray,
A story, a short tale; yes each stone glimmers with a moment to remember.
The stones pull me this way and that,  I bend for them to see into the illuminated forms.
Playing inside are fragments of my life, some seek atonement, others laughter or tears.

I am gray,
With hesitation, I pause to understand if what is shown is authentic,
yet I know that if what I see is valid then I should not contradict the sequence I see.
If I deny a scene I lie and to deny means I have not lived and sadness fills the heart.

I am gray,
Now each circumscribed step is within a blackness, one where hope is nil.
No ray of light can penetrate and help me to miss the darkened stones.
Ominous blackness breeds caution and I fear each step may bring a fate unknown.

I am gray
Further along, a light is coruscating from the intense blackness; the sparkle widens as I go forward and each infinitesimal piece glimmers in forming a Chrysanthemum.
Does this bright, mass bring goodwill or will it cause my gray to be a tightened cloak?

The Swirling, sparkling mass of shimmering light engulfs me.
The gray, like the cloud in a rainstorm,  breaks apart in swirls of light.
The deep darkness is pummeled by the light till nothing remains.

The fury of the lights quiet and all space is void except for the remaining lights.
Now my hands and body are hollow and dissolve in the sparkle of light.
What was, no longer is….I am gone.

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