The poem that follows was inspired by the constant memory of the moment my Mother left this earth. But, it is not only written to record a memory, it is dedicated to the many people I know, including myself, that may have their final hour alone.
I have written about my being alone, as I reach the end of my journey Within Crepusculum, I have worried about entering my own final darkness without someone I know to accompany me on that profound voyage. I have thought endlessly of the many things I need to do after I begin my twilight journey, especially deciding who could accompany to the end of my Darkness.
Because I was determined to make my Mother’s final hour as safe as possible for her, I think of all of the people who might be alone. I do believe my Mother felt loved and accompanied. I sang her songs, especially “You are my Sunshine” and talked to her to look for her Angel and that at the very end of the path she should see my father waiting for her. My sister interjected that she always thought of that particular time to be colorful and that you pass from the darkness into Paradise on the Rainbow Bridge. I quickly included this in my whispering in her ear. We both wanted her to know she wasn’t alone and that we were going to accompany her all the way to the Rainbow Bridge.
I think that all humankind should have that ability to have the living accompany them as far as they can and help them not be frightened. Death is as poignant as Birth. In birth you have a whole life ahead of you and you aren’t even aware of that until you are much older. But in Death you have lived your whole life and your heart is filled with the memories from it. To have someone you love or know accompany on your final journey into the Darkness is a fitting wish.
Sometimes I kid myself and say that death, mine, doesn’t bother me. In reality that is a lie, a cover up so that I don’t express how frightened I may feel about it. Now, I can’t imagine being alone or just with strangers at that final hour. If I had been able to understand life more I would have already accepted that I prefer having someone near me when I was with my Aunt when she died many years ago. She waited for me to arrive before she allowed her death to occur. She needed me, her choice, to tell her she was safe to leave and that I would be there by her. Shortly after I told her she died. That very moment when some one passes from earthly life and on into Paradise is indescribable and I certainly will not even try to do it, yet I will say it is profound.
Just take a moment to think about that moment. Think of what separates life from death and then imagine its absence……………
One Little Word
There is this little word, often used within a phrase,
that heralds the difference between life and death.
You never know the exact moment that death arrives,
and often you question how much longer.
You ask how much longer not because you want it over,
but because you continue to pray for “for just a little more time”,
Time to hug, time to kiss, time to feel and time to remember,
yet you know that it all depends on one little word, one little phrase.
Panic reigns inside your chest and head as your heart beats harder,
your eyes well with tears and you know there isn’t time for tears.
Tears choke the words you need to say in the hope they are heard,
words you use to bring comfort and healing, but never death.
You say those words and pray that life continues a moment longer
so that you feel you have one more second to share your love.
Deep inside, once again, you tremble and falter because your heart
is aware of that one little word waiting to define who is still living……..
Your words tumble forth, yet in the quiet of the moment you know
these are the last words you will be able to utter to the one you love.
There in that moment you hold tightly for fear of losing your loved one,
yet just then you know the time is here and the word is to be spoken.
Hear it echo in the quiet of the moment as you place a kiss upon the cheek,
then one on the lips, while next you grope quickly to squeeze the hand.
Silently, with no need to to speak, you lay your head against the other and bid good bye,
good bye to the one you love because now “they no longer breathe”.