Dawn, more than Another Day Begins–

Just after the first break of light arrives on the horizon, is a time to savor its arrival.  Slowly the new grey light creeps through the crack of the draperies in the window.  The light, depending upon the weather, changes from the grey and then can be a light blue or a soft yellow.  Regardless, of the color out side of the drape, inside quiet and projects a charm that entices you to walk through the rooms and be mesmerized by the tranquility.

It is the time of day I most enjoy.  I am alone and I can do as I please.  I can think thoughts of fantasy, I can sort through a trouble or I can sit on the sofa in the den without a thought in my head.  This time, the changing from dark to grey to light is a that heals, sets forth hope, allows you to be melancholy, or entices you to open a door and walk outside to feel the mist or moisture accumulated in the night. 

A walk though the garden at this time is shadowy in the light.  The path leads me though the garden and I touch the dew on the leaves or see the blossoms on flowers begin to open for the first time or others that are reopening for the day.  Along the way, often a surprise stops me.  An orchid, a Phalaenopsis or Moth Orchid blooms.  Its little roots, attached to a tree branch, seems to small to produce such a large bloom, yet there it at the end of a long branch.

It is a time during which I go to the kitchen to make coffee.  Just after I arrive and before I can even pour the water in the coffee maker, I hear a thump and patter of paws as Blackie arrives for her breakfast.  We continue being civil with each other and she has grown accustomed knowing I can get what she wants at dawn.  Today she scurries to her bowl, meows at me, then waits for me to give her food.  I bend to pick up the dirty food bowl and take a moment to pet her, something she rarely allows me to do.  Today she allows me to pet her for a second……..although she is more interested in being fed.  She eats and I think that maybe the early morning allows her and I to get along better.

I pour a cup of coffee and I sit to write and while I write I enjoy the quiet around me.  It is a new day yet at this early period it is much more than just another day.  It is my time!


Crossing My Rubicon

On June 15th at 8:00 p.m. I “crossed my rubicon”, my sixty-fifth year.  I am now at a point in my life that I am beyond youth and one must continue on the current course because turning back is physically impossible.  It is the mark in time before the next major, crepuscular  life cycle  begins.

The day was uneventful, nothing like I envisioned when I was much younger.  Youth has a way of not understanding what the future holds when it directly relates to your age, physical condition and mental abilities.  I saw sixty-five or any over fifty year as being a decrepit old man.  There was no perception that a person at one of these ages could experience and enjoy life as much as I did then.

Unfortunately, time’s passing brings many changes to you, some good and others not so good.  I have aged when I look in the mirror, although, I am happy I don’t see wrinkles and tired looking skin.   My  genes allow me to not have greying hair.  When I am heavy I cut my hair to a short burr cut.  I tell myself it is because there isn’t much hair left, but I know it is an act of punishment because I gained weight!

The face in the mirror looks back at me and reminds me I have a good life and  have few health issues at this age.  The face also tells me that my internal disquietude is often magnified and reminds me that even though I may not always be happy my experiences have been a basis for  wisdom.

As I stand at the bank of my rubicon, slightly perturbed that I must remember to carry a social security and medicare card, I think of my Mother and her love of tomorrow.  During future years  I will focus on the next day and imagine what tomorrow will bring.